• these stay on socks, flat lay pair
  • these stay on socks, worn
1 2

these stay on socks

these stay on socks

$17.95
$17.95
Sale Gone (gone means gone)
Taxes included.

Low stock: 10 left
🐒The No-Cap Guarantee. 30 days, no drama: swap or full refund if it does not fit or does not land. One size fits most, unisex: AU men 6 to 12, women 8 to 14.

Black quarter socks that state their one boundary: these stay on. A commitment woven in white at the ankle. Pairs with the not a grower cap for a full honesty outfit. 🧦

  • Design woven in, never printed
  • 75% combed cotton, 23% polyamide, 2% elastane
  • One size unisex: AU men 6 to 12, women 8 to 14
  • 2 for $30 on short socks

Of all the funny socks in Australia, these are the only ones with a written policy. A safe gag gift with an unsafe punchline. Ships from Melbourne, $9.95 flat Australia-wide, free over $80. Short socks are 2 for $30, and both pairs stay on.

The lore 🐒

Medically, your feet are warm. Emotionally, you cancelled brunch at 4:58pm. These socks hold both truths.

Shipping and returns 📦

Packed by hand in Melbourne, dispatched within 1 business day (order by 2pm Melbourne time). $9.95 flat shipping, FREE over $80, tracking on every parcel. Returns are easy: 30 days, swap first or full refund, no drama. If anything goes wrong, email us and a real human (supervised by a monkey) fixes it.

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Complete the fit 🐒🧦

Any cap + any short sock saves $5 automatically. The Combo, it is called. The monkey named it.

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Questions the monkey gets a lot 🐒

Will it actually fit my head?

One size, actually. Dad caps adjust from 54 to 62 cm with a brass buckle, truckers snap from 55 to 62 cm. If your head somehow defeats it, the No-Cap Guarantee kicks in: swap or full refund within 30 days, no drama.

Is the quality actually good, or is this a $15 cap in disguise?

Embroidered, not printed. Garment-washed cotton twill on the dads, structured foam and mesh on the truckers, 200-needle woven socks. The joke is the only thing about this product that is not serious. No cap.

When will it arrive?

Packed by hand in Melbourne and dispatched within 1 business day (order by 2pm Melbourne time). Shipping is $9.95 flat, or FREE over $80: the Two-Cap Pack gets you there in one move.

Is this a good gift or a risky gift?

It is the gift that gets worn at the table. Add a gift note at checkout, and if the joke does not land, they get 30 days to swap it for one that does. The monkey has never lost a Secret Santa. 🐒